Say what you will about San Francisco: The girls aren’t that hot, the weather blows, and it’s too expensive. But it’s hands-down the most beautiful city in the US. If you don’t believe that, then you’ve never been here...
OUTSIDE
Say what you will about San Francisco: The girls aren't that hot, the weather blows, and it's too expensive. But it's hands-down the most beautiful city in the US. If you don't believe that, then you've never been here, and when you do get here, a simple stroll around town will convince you. As far as views are concerned, take a jaunt over to Crissy Field outside the Marina District and walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. It's only two miles long, and if you're lucky you might just see someone jump off. Another amazing view is from Twin Peaks, which looks directly down Market Street all the way to the Ferry Building. Go to the top of Bernal Hill, which is unlike any of the other spots because it looks at the city from the south going north. Be careful of the dogshit, though! Lastly, try to make your way over to Land's End, which is the westernmost point in the continental United States. The view is spectacular, and if you can get a joint lit, it's probably the best place to smoke one in the city. There are a bunch of parks and beaches here too, but we're going to note the ones where you can get away with the most shit.
Alamo Square - This one only gets a nod for its role in Full House. If you want to see the painted ladies, which are the six houses on Steiner between Hayes and Grove where Uncle Jesse lived, then hit up this park. You can take a nice photo of the houses with Downtown as the backdrop.
Baker/China Beach - It's on the picturesque side of the bay and almost heavenly on certain occasions. Tons of nudists flock here when the sun is right, but don't get too excited—it's mostly old gays shirt-cocking.
Dolores Park - Situated between 18th and 20th streets in the Mission, it's a marvel in itself. It is unofficially divided into four quadrants; the Latin American Soccer Annex, Hipster Beach, the Family Nook, and the Man Shelf. On the northwestern side of the park, we have the LASC, where Mexican and El Salvadoran men play soccer almost daily. You can identify its location by the lack of grass. Hipster Beach is also on the north end, but to the east, and is where lots of people meet on sunny days to get hammered and smoke weed. Cops turn a blind eye to rampant alcohol consumption on the beach. It's probably one of the better places to people-watch and is packed whenever the weather is favorable. The Family Nook lies to the south and is just what it sounds like. People do drink on that side but not with the same level of blatant disregard that they do on the HB. The Man Shelf, on the southwest hill of the park, is where Castro's finest sunbathe. Prepare yourself for many a mankini.
